Wild Blue Yonder

Here's what Mother Nature have wrought after Wednesday's ice storm.


And this...



(I'll be doing cleanup well into the summer, I'm sure. All i have is my trusty, well-used hand saw. I'm afraid of chain saws.)

I was luckily working at home that day. That morning, i got up from my desk to stretch my legs and looked out at the window at the coating of ice on everything outdoors. I saw, high in the branches of the row of white pines that borders the road, a fair amount of smoke, and then sparks and small explosions. I couldn't tell if it was coming from my neighbor's roofline, behind the trees, or the trees themselves. I went out to have a look and realized a tree branch had fallen on the power lines and was actually lying across them, burning.

I called 911 and the fire dept. came and watched it. What could they do, i guess, but call the power company (which i'd already done).

Not 5 minutes after i emailed my office, telling my boss, "I'm praying we don't lose power," I did. That was in the late morning, and so of course i stopped working at the computer.

As the hours wore on, i became really worried that if the power company couldn't restore power soon, my plumbing would be in danger of freezing and i might even have to vacate the house. Not at all what i wanted to do, what with a sick cat and all day continuing to listen to the gunshot-like sound of tree branches falling all around my property. I personally saw 4 instances of falling branches.

I kept calling the power company but they weren't providing estimates of when the power would be restored, probably becus this was a statewide storm and they had their hands full.

I called two different plumbers and the water company for advice on how to drain the pipes to avoid them bursting. I know how to shut the water off and thought i could drain them, but wasn't sure about draining the electric hot water heater tank. Thank god one of the plumbers told me that if it came to that, to be sure to turn the circuit breaker to the hot water heater off at the same time, becus if power was later restored to an empty water tank, it would damage the heating element, which must be submerged in water.

I also needed to figure out how to drain the toilets so the bowls wouldn't break. I lived through a burst plumbing pipe at my old office about 3 years ago when i was alone in the office and the water came rushing under the door from the bathroom and flooded the work area. The water was also frozen solid in the toilet bowl when i arrived at work that a.m. becus a supply line outside had frozen overnight. When heat was restored, the toilet gave off some god awful cracking groaning sounds and i felt like running, to be honest. My boss wasn't there becus he was at his sister-in-law's house, recently purchased but not yet occupied, where the pipes had also burst and caused a mess. It had been an exceptionally cold night.

So anyway, i was worried about all that stuff with my own home, but the more helpful of the 2 plumbers said he'd be inclined to tough out the night and see in the a.m. if i had power yet. It usually takes more than one night for indoor temps to drop below freezing, he said. Temps, thank god, were at 30 all day and not forecast to go lower all night. How unusual, especially in January, right? The next day was supposed to be 30, but then dropping into the 20s the following night.

So all this was going thru my head. I called my friend/neighbor H. and asked if need be, if i could sleep over and bring my cat with me. She said yes, no problem, though i really didn't want to have to move the cat and all that. So i decided to keep monitoring my indoor temps and try getting thru the night.

It got down to about 50. Pretty chilly when you can't do anything but huddle under the bed covers. No watching TV. No working on the computer. No reading. I had just 1 flashlight and a dinner of a can of cold corn, some walnuts and raisins. I didn't want to risk opening the fridge up cus i wanted to save the food if possible.

3 power company trucks arrived around 12:30 a.m. and by 1:30 .m. power was restored. What relief i felt. I've lived thru power outages in the summer months, but when it happens in the winter, it becomes a real risk. I don't even have a fireplace here.

Last night was the 2nd consecutive night the cat didn't poop. The 1st Dulcolax had no effect except to cause her abdonminal pain and attempts, for hours, with nothing coming out.

The vet said i could give her a 2nd pill on Thursday night. I gave her the pill in the a.m. and went to work becus she seemed to have settled down, but it takes 6 to 12 hours to take effect, so you guessed it, another sleepless night. Perhaps becus she was so constipated, the food she'd eaten she threw all up, and she continued to throw up, mostly liquid after that, all night long. Each time i got up and wearily cleaned up the mess, becus i didn't want the liquid seeping through the cracks in the wood floor and possibly causing mold to grow. The last time i got up to clean up another puddle, i glanced at the clock and it was 3 am.

Sometime late last night, i discovered 2 good-sized poops, in different locations in the house. She didn't go in the litterbox becus it was too painful. I was just relieved she FINALLY got relief.

I'm returning the unused baby food to the store and eating the rest of the chicken myself. I am REALLY looking forward to a sound sleep tonight.

At work yesterday, the pressure was suddenly on me to write a product review, pronto. I'd written one for our website 6 months ago, but for some reason it sat around unused, possibly becus the site wasn't yet set up for product reviews. Then on Thursday, several people were hounding me to get the review loaded and published, in a hurry. Since it was so dated, i checked the site that offered the product and found the product had been sold from the company that originally created it and sold it to someone else. The current product is nothing like the one i reviewed; it has different features and a different price structure. Imagine if i'd just published it as i was told.

I told everyone we needed to kill the review, but was then instructed to write another one in a hurry. As a carrot, i think, my boss said i could do it at home. I had wanted him to assign it to some of our freelancers, but it said it would take them too long and i could do it quicker. (There's a downside to being too good at what you do.) But a workday at home is very attractive to me, so i worked at home today.

At lunch, i ran out to pick up the prednisone for my cat at the vet's. I also went food shopping, picking up a half dozen different treats and foods for her, trying to pick those with the highest fiber content so we wouldn't have any more constipation issues. I got her the canned pumpkin, too that i think baselle suggested. I also gassed up the car.

It was just as well i did all those errands cus i'd forgotten that they're forecasting 6 to 12 inches of snow starting tomrrow around midday and ending not til Sunday a.m.

The Farmer's Almanac forecast a very snowy winter for the northeast and they are definitely on target with that.

In other news, i went ahead and directed our HR to deduct the maximum $5,000 401k catch-up contributions (for anyone turning 50 in 2009), spread out among each paycheck this year.

I was worried it would really squeeze me but the catch-ups are too good to pass up. It's an extra $211 out of each paycheck. I noticed in today's paycheck that with the extra contribution, i'm paying $80 less in state and federal taxes.

Yeah, i'm hearing loud and clear that taxes are only going to go up probably becus of the mess our economy is in so whether i end up paying more taxes later becus i'm deferring them now is anyone's guess. Still, it's probably going to be more effective in getting me to save the extra $5k. My goal, as stated in my profile at left, is that when i get to retirement age (60, for me) i would withdraw the standard 4% (assuming i have my goal of $1 million saved), so that's $40,000 a year, which i should be able to live on since my mortgage will be paid off. However, i just checked the 2009 federal tax brackets and i see that the 25% tax bracket, which is the one i'm in now, ranges from $33,950 to $82,250.

If i wanted to be in the 15% tax bracket, i could only withdraw $33,950 to live on, from my IRAs, assuming i wasn't going to tap into Social Security yet. Well, that's just $6,050 less, so maybe i could live on that, too and then only pay 15% taxes instead of 25% taxes. It might just work out.

We're in an ice storm now.





This is the dogwood tree outside my bathroom window. I think my new camera is much more powerful and versatile than my old one. I think i took the first picture using the zoom lens and the 2nd one using the macro function. both came out very nicely.

I had a terrible time with my cat last night. She's been eating well, but was very constipated and uncomfortable. Apparently cooked chicken and baby food is the worst thing you could feed a cat because there is no fiber in the baby food and it just becomes one big hard ball. Tuna depletes the body of Vitamin E and should be avoided as well, but i was desperate to get her to eat something.

The vet said this a.m. i could give her a half of a Dulcolax, but i'm homebound, for the time being, due to the ice storm we're having. I'm hoping to get out in another hour and a half.

She was squatting and straining all around the house last night. She also threw up a whole lot of food (more cooked chicken) and then lots of liquid, so i was worried she'd become dehydrated. Of course she didn't want to eat or drink anything. I dabbed some butter on her mouth so she'd lick it off and maybe smooth her bowel movement. I also used a dropper to put some water in her mouth, again becus of fear of dehydration. I was relieved early this a.m. to see her finally drinking some water and now she is sleeping under the covers, but she still hasn't been able to have a bowel movement. We both had a sleepless night. The Dulcolax should work, as soon as i can get it. It's a good thing i was able to work at home today.

the vet had the results of the biopsy back. It's a very aggressive form of a round cell cancer. She said i could give her prednisone, which, depending on the type of cancer, could extend her life to a few months. If it's lymphoma, which is a cancer of the immune system, it would respond well to the prednisone, which could somewhat shrink the tumor and stimulate her appetite, but if it's another form, it won't, and she'll likely have weeks, not months.

I found another local vet who does house calls who sounded incredibly compassionate over the phone. I will call him when the time comes, and i think between the 2 of these vets, i have my new vet for any future pets i may have. I had never been happy with vets in my immeidate area. They seemed to be more about operating a for profit business than caring for sick animals. I know they need to make a living, but the caring and concern for the animal just didn't seem to be there to the degree i would have liked.

When i have scraps of food left over in winter, i like to put it out to feed the critters, and i've learned that you'll get different takers, depending on when you put the food out.

If i put it out at dusk, deer will come upon it. MIddle of the day, sometimes squirrels will get it first.

I put out a tin of leftover pureed chicken and kibble the cat wouldn't eat as well as a pear core and leftover popcorn from a few weeks ago.

As i sat here reading your blogs, i heard crows cawing outside my window, so i stopped to watch and see what the crow would take first. The first one pecked at the pear core and knocked it out of the dish, but lef it in the snow. Then he took big gobs of the pureed chicken/cat food, which was probably partly frozen since i put it out. Not surprising since crows eat carrion. He flew off and returned a few minutes later with a buddy. The buddy went after the popcorn, managing to get at least 5 kernels in his beak before taking off. The 1st crow took more of the pureed cat food. I find this fascinating.

Today was another quiet day, intentionally so. I walked to the library to return 3 DVDs and then on to the supermarket to pick up 4 jars of baby food, for the cat. (Thanx for that good idea.) Then i washed the salt off my car with a bucket of water. They say you can scratch the car if you use a sponge on it without wetting the whole car down first, but i didn't want to mess with turning on the water in the garage and getting the hose and all, and it's an old car i don't care too much about little scratches.

I have 2 chicken breasts in the oven and will have it for dinner with sweet potato fries and sauteed cabbage.

I've read a good part of the latest Kiplingers, and am currently reading 2 books, I.O.U.S.A. (mostly about the federal deficit) and another called Deep Survival.

I did 2 loads of laundry yesterday and followed up on my promise to friend B. to research more on a possible vacation get-together somewhere between us in PA or upstate NY. I have the package ready to mail tomorrow.

I also stocked up on 2.5 weeks worth of Lean Cuisine workday lunches. Stop & Shop has a sale on them this week for $2 each, even better than the $2.50 each sale they normally have. Full price is about $3.79, i think, and i never buy full price. I plan to return to get more on Thursday, the last day of the sale, when hopefully i will have a little more room in my freezer. Right now, it's jam packed.

Boy, have i not made use of my 2 weeks off over the holidays. I just feel lethargic, depressed, mostly due to worry over my cat. She had the biopsy yesterday. I had a heck of a time getting the bandage off that they wrapped around her leg where they had given the anesthesia. I didn't know she still had it on til i got her home and out of her carrier. She was very unhappy about it. I called the vet and they said probably easier to cut it off rather than try to unwrap it. The cat wouldn't let me do it easily, so i did it little by little and finally got it free. I rewarded her with a catnip pillow i picked up at the vet's and she really seemed to perk up with that.

I asked the vet how successful surgery would be, and she said she'd know better once she gets the biopsy results back and can see what kind of cancer it is. She noted the lump inside her mouth was bigger than when she saw it just a week ago. She said the cat probably wouldn't need painkillers but would be unable to eat before she felt any pain, due to the growth of the tumor.

When i brought her home yesterday she seemed to really chow down on her dry food and i was relieved at that, but later i wondered just how much she'd eaten, as the bowl still seemed to hold the same amount of food. I hand-fed her 3 Greenies this a.m. and pureed some canned chicken with its juice; she lapped a small amount of that. I'm going to try pureeing it even finer at noon and try getting her to eat some more.

I haven't been answering the phone for a while, but last night i called an old friend B., from PA. We used to live together on the Cape when i was in my 20s. She had called me earlier in the weekend in response to a letter i wrote her, which was in response to a letter she wrote me in September.

We talked a long time about our animals and how humanely to end their lives. She's had many cats and dogs.

Anyway, I suggested a get-together; i havent' seen her in at least 17 years! We both have an interest in the Valley Forge, PA area as a meeting place, one becus it's roughly midway between us and two becus we both might consider it as a place to retire to someday. We both also are interested in the historical and cultural interest of the area, too, of course. And i could get a cancellation stamp in my national parks passbook.

So i'll probably do some research; i think i ordered a AAA PA travel guide a year or so ago and it's probably in the attic. Planning a trip like that would be something to look forward to.

Well, tomorrow's the start of a new year, and so, while many people are partying with their friends or watching the Times Square festivities on TV, I'm thinking about the financial chores i like to do right away, early in the year.

Like, I usually don't delay in funding my Roth IRA. Since i have ample savings in taxable mutual funds, it's simply a matter of calling T. Rowe Price and transferring $5K to one of my IRAs. This was never a problem in a bull market. However, this year, i'm in a bit of a quandry. Because the stock market tanked so much, transferring money to a Roth IRA account would mean a big loss when i sold any of my taxable mutual funds, and i don't want to do that.

So i'm not sure what to do. I could use money from the emergency fund i've been trying to build as protection against any job loss, but it's just slightly under $7K right now (2.5 months worth of living expenses) and the Roth IRA contribution plus the catch-up provision if you're 50 or older next year, would pretty much wipe out my emergency fund, so i'd prefer not to do that.

I guess i'm gonna have to do what everyone else does, contribute little by little throughout the year. In the past, i figured i'd get a bigger bang for the buck by doing the contribution earlier in the year rather than later, giving my money an extra 12 months of tax-deferred status, unlike some who might contribute late in the year. Oh well.

Oh, maybe i can use whatever bonus i get and use that. I think that's a better idea. I'm hoping and expecting that i get my full bonus this year, which would be $7,000. The net after taxes will be less, so i guess the IRA contribution will pretty much suck it all up. Sigh.

I put in an appearance at work today after about a week off. They were letting us out at 2 pm on account of the holiday, but with the snowstorm, i was able to leave at 12:45 pm but didn't roll in my driveway til 2 pm. It was no more than 40 mph the whole way home.

We had a nice potluck early lunch. Someone poured me champagne, and my taost was that "may i see all your faces this time, next year." In other words, let's hope none of us loses their jobs.

While i was at work i turned in a form that authorizes HR to deduct an extra $5,000 toward my 401k in 2009, the full "catch-up" provision for those who turn 50 or older in 2009. I am counting on whatever raise i get for this year, (i won't know what it is until late January/early February), to mostly cover the extra paycheck deductions so it's not too painful.

I would love to see a little extra in my pay as i live pretty spartan-like, but i am forcing myself to take advantage of the full catch-up. Given the lousy economy, i realize i'll have to work harder to reach my financial goal of $1.2 million and semi-retirement (retirement from full-time work) by age 60.

So i'm taking a little gamble without really knowing exactly what kind of raise and what kind of bonus i'll get. This has been my first go-round with annual raises/bonuses with this company, so not sure what to expect, except that i know i'm a top performer there and have been told so. Still, the economy sucks.

So, in summary, any raise i get will compensate for the extra I've allocated to go into my 401(k) and any bonus i get will go into my Roth IRA. I know it's the right thing to do, but it doesn't feel like "fun."

Spoke to an old friend tonight, but otherwise, no special plans tonight. My friend has a knack for nicely summarizing your existence. He reminded me of how i "lucked out" in landing on my feet after a layoff with a job offer, and the job i have now, just a few weeks later, just months before the whole credit crisis went down. Despite my generalized layoff fears, this job is a lot more solid in every way than my last job. If i hadn't been laid off a year ago, i surely would have been by now, had i stayed there.

I have 3 foreign films to watch between now and Monday. Tomorrow is my neighbors' party. I'm still not sure if i'll go.

Friday is the dreaded trip back to vet for my cat's anesthesia, x-rays and biopsy.

Just looking forward to the days getting longer so i don't have to get up for work in the dark and drive home in the dark. Hate that. And i'm hoping my kitty will make it til spring so she can breathe the fresh air out on the porch.

When i posted my annual breakdown of expenses and income a few days ago, I listed $1,478 in "other" income, in additon to my paycheck, freelance writing and flex spending account (which i count as "income.")

I thought i would comb through each month's numbers to break down exactly where that money came from and maybe offer some creative ways for others here to make money. Just tracking where the money came from really demonstrates that this stuff does add up, taken all together...

2 cat-sitting visits: $250
Well worth it; she's in my hometown

Craig's List sales (5 items): $200
My personal philosphy is that if you really want to sell something, you have to price it right, so maybe i tend to get less for my stuff, but it does sell, and that is, after all, my ultimate goal.

2 focus groups: $185
Well worth the effort, since it's in the same town where i work my f/t job. The focus groups are usually like 6 to 9 pm. It makes for a late night, but you're paid in cash when you leave. And since they always overbook for the focus group to make sure they have enough people, there's always a chance your name won't be called and THEY PAY YOU ANYWAY, just for showing up. Will try to do 2 more in 2009 (you have to let 6 months lapse before you can do another focus group)

Walgreens Rebates: $168
This one's a no-brainer, I think, since i'm getting $168 worth of merchandise and only paying the sales tax on it. So i paid $10.08 (based on CT's 6% sales tax) for $168 worth of stuff. The $168 is for 9 months; there were 3 months when the rebates they offered didn't interest me.

Class action lawsuit: $146
This is the result of a settlement achieved by the state attorney general in the case of a heating oil company which took our money but didn't give us the oil. I'll be getting one more check but not until next fall. The $ i get represents about .50 on the dollar. Still, something is better than nothing.

Proceeds from sale of raffle prize i won and sold to someone else: $75
I won a raffle at our local health fair for 4 ski lift tickets. I don't ski, and was getting ready to sell these on Craig's List when my coworker offered to buy them from me, making it real easy. He got a great deal; the tickets were actually worth quite a bit more.

Surveys: $65
I did 15 online surveys. I'm not crazy about doing these and question whether it's worth my time, especially since one company reduced their payments from $5 per survey to $3. Looked at another way, $65 is about what it costs me for a month's worth of electricity.

Other rebates: $63
This was for 4 different rebate offers, including one from AT&T for $50; the rest were food items.

Amex annual reward: $32
This is based on how much you use your card during the course of the year, and though i always try to use the Amex card, all i managed to rack up this year was $32.

Well, that was a fun little exercise.

In other financial news, I was able to sell my old digital camera, the one i replaced, for $15 on Craig's List. I didn't think there'd be much demand for it as it was just 3.2 megapixel and that's why i priced it so low.

I got a very interesting offer in the mail recently from Teva Marion, the Israeli pharmaceutical company that makes the drug i take daily for my MS. For those who "qualify," they are willing to pay your monthly copayments! Sounds a little too good to be true? What's the catch? I thought maybe that since i now use Medco to fill my prescriptions they would say i wasn't eligible, but i called and it looks like i am, as long as i use a pharmacy on their preferred list and i make sure to renew my prescriptions ON TIME.

This would be truly good news and would save me $300 a year. I pay $75 for a 3-month supply, which actually is a very reasonable price considering how expensive this drug is. I'm guessing they're doing this becus a lot of people who start the drug drop off later, one becus it's an injectable drug and who wants to do that, and 2 becus it is very expensive for some people. I guess they can still make money from the insurance companies, which pick up the bulk of the cost for policyholders. (The program is only available for those with private health insurance, not Medicaid or any government-run program, and not for those in Massachusetts.)

Because i turn the big 5-0 next year, my HR department tells me i can make $5,000 in extra "catch-up" contributions to my 401k. I would love to do that, but i won't know if or what kind of raise i get until late January, and if, say, i got no raise, well that catch-up contribution would mean $250 less per paycheck, which is a lot. I feel very squeezed as it is. I'm hoping that if i got a big enough raise, the extra paycheck deduction wouldn't be that noticeable. Of course, i'd love to get some "breathing room" too, by getting at least some of that raise in my paycheck, but duty before pleasure, i guess.

I did ask HR if i could just contribute the $5,000 from my bonus, which i also won't get til late January, but they said no,surprisingly. I don't know what difference it makes, the bonus is still considered income.

I was always led to believe that any time you had the chance to put money into a tax-deferred account like a 401k or IRA, it was a great thing to do becus your money would grow faster, sheltered from taxes and so on until withdrawal. Of course, i have to question that wisdom in light of the stock market. Seems like as soon as i put money into the 401k it plummets in value. Or just languishes.

Still, i'm planning on doing the $5K catch-up contribution even if it kills me. I'm a woman on a mission.

I like to scan my goals that show up on my page here. As for the mortgage, if i continue the hefty prepayments all year, as i fully intend to do, that will only reduce my balance to $59,000 by this time next year. It seems to take so long...

You may have caught my mention in a previous post that, 2 days before Xmas, i noticed a rather large and hard lump on my cat's chin.

I haven't really been happy about my choice of vets in the area; i have yet to find one i like. So i was able to get an appointment with a new one, that sees cats only, the day after Christmas.

I had been fairly worried about the lump being malignant; an infected tooth was something to hope for. So it really came as no surprise when the vet said she could find no sign of swelling when she opened her mouth and that she thought it was a "mass" which we'd had to x-ray and biopsy to see if it was benign or malignant.

Basically, i broke down and cried with my head over over my cat, who was huddled against me in the exam room. It wasn't something i hadn't thought of, but just having the vet confirm my worst fears was shock.

I scheduled the x-rays and biopsy for the earliest possible date, this Friday. The cat will have to be anesthetized, which i hate, but there's no avoiding it. Benign or not, we'd be looking at surgery, maybe chemo and quite likely feeding tubes and lots of other unpleasant things during her recovery. I will not put her through all that. Just riding to the vet is a major trauma for the cat. She often poops and pees in the carrier on the ride over.

She is 13. i think it is selfish of pet owners who go through Herculean efforts to keep their animal alive for another 6 months or a year despite what the animal has to endure.

The cat's pain is my pain.

I had 2 other cats i had to put to sleep, and despite my best efforts to make their last moments comfortable, it didn't really work out the way i wanted.

Tigger, who grew very weak toward the end, jumped up on my lap on my screened porch and curled up quite peacefully just 10 minutes or so before i needed to bring her to the vet to be euthanized. I had an appointment and it was a 45-minute ride. I hated to get up when she was resting so contentedly, but i did. At that vet, they couldn't get a needle in her vein. I was trying to prepare myself to say goodbye, and they were telling me there were some difficulties in doing that. So i agreed to have them use another drug given my injection. It would take a little longer for it to work. The stupid vet didn't tell me in advance that a possible side effect was hallucinations. My poor Tigger was hallucinating as she became very frighened and meowed loudly. I tried my best to comfort her. And those were her last moments, which i have to live with for the rest of my life. So maybe you'll understand now why it's so important to me that i don't repeat that snecario.

So i have those thoughts in the back of my head. What i would like to do is not to put her thru the surgery, etc., but to keep her at home as comfortable as possible; the vet said they had various painkillers and things. If she really began to deteriorate, i would call a vet who made housecalls and have them come to the house to put her to sleep and i think, take the cat's body with them. (I buried Fritz in my backyard years ago, and i think it caused me more lasting pain than comfort becus i would think of that cat everytime i was in that vicinity or looking out back.)

The vet said she had a 2 page list of vets in my area who made housecalls, so i would probably want to call them in advance to learn their fee and let them know of my situation. If i have to take a day or 2 off of work to do this, and to grieve, i will.

So Friday i was pretty much a basket case. (Doing my end of year expenses actually helped me focus on something else.) Saturday i was still very mopey, just hanging around the house with the cat, alternately crying and feeling depressed.

Yesterday was a little better, for a reason. I had a thought that maybe the cat doesn't have a tumor. I had told the vet's assistant, as she did her general questioning of the cat's health, that she doesn't seem able to jump as well as she used to, even jumping onto a chair 2 feet high, her back legs don't quite make it. She said it was probably arthritis and that glucosamine might help.

I've seen the cat a number of times unsuccessfully try to jump on the chair in the bathroom. I have a chair there so she can then jump on the bathroom counter, where she likes to drink water. But i've seen the cat fall back down after trying to jump. She just fell back down in that forward position, and it occurred to me that she could have really bumped her chin on the edge of the chair seat as she fell down.

I don't know how long swelling from a bump might last, but if i felt it Dec. 23, you would think that by today or tomorrow, 6 or 7 days later, the swelling would subside? Just the thought that it might simply be a swelling, not a malignant growth, really eased my tension and the ache in my heart. But i haven't been able to bring myself to feel her chin to see if the bump is any smaller. I'm just afraid to have my hopes dashed, yet i'm afraid to raise my hopes, either.

I was thinking of calling the vet's office and running my theory by them. I certainly don't want to put the cat thru the biopsy procedure Friday if it turns out to be a bumped chin. I would be a little surprised that the vet didn't consider any other possiblities than what she said (she also mentioned a smaller possiblity that it was a blocked salvidary gland) but i don't know.

When she had her mouth open to check her teeth, she told me, see how her tongue's scrunched to one side (due to the lump, presumedly). That really bummed me out, but maybe if someone is prying your mouth open and you're struggling to get away, your tongue would be scrunched to one side, too. So that part of it still is a worry and doesn't jibe with my hope it's just a bump.

So the biopsy results would tell us if it's a "mass" (aka tumor) rather than swelling from some other cause, and if it's a mass, the biopsy would tell us if it's benign or malignant.

She was also going to x-ray the stomach becus she said cancers often spread there first, but i felt like, what's the point? I love my cat, but i've already decided i can't put her thru all the trauma and stress of the treatment. She doesn't even do surgeries there. She said she'd have to refer me on to an oncological vet with a practice an hour's drive from home.

The exam and bloodwork on Tuesday was $191 and if we go thru with the biopsy and x-rays as planned on Friday, the bill will be about $400. It's not cheap.

I haven't at all been spending my weeklong holiday the way i'd planned, but have mostly been staying close to home (and my cat). I pruned some bushes in the yard, took a few walks, watched TV and did some reading. I got some videos at the library, but i just don't feel like socializing much.

I feel like spoiling my cat. I gave her some canned chicken from Costco but she only licked the juices and left the chicken there, the little stinker. I've been brushing her, which she loves, and giving her lots of TLC.

I only hope i have the strength to see her through the rough times ahead. I don't know how i'll cope seeing her in any pain or discomfort.Right now, she is perfectly fine. Her appetite is good and she's content, so if this is cancer, it's still in the early stages, i don't know.

The last time i had to put my cat Tigger to sleep, i was so upset afterwards that i vowed to myself, never again would i get another animal becus letting them go was too painful. But just 2 weeks later, i adopted another kitten. It actually helped me move on much quicker.

Deciding when to put an animal to sleep is a big responsibility, at least it feels that way to me. I don't want the cat to suffer needlessly, so you don't want to wait too long, but then, i would feel guilty if i euthanised the cat too quickly, too. I feel it's necessary to determine what exactly the problem is, but after the biopsy Friday, this time, no more unpleasant procedures.

I've done my annual expense tracking a few days early.

Below are ALL my 2008 expenses, ranked by amount. I'm happy to report that my efforts at "cost containment" really paid off this year. There were 11 categories where i spent LESS than last year and just 4 where i spent MORE than last year, and two of these were no surprise: fuel oil and gas for my car. I spent about the same in 10 categories.

Mortgage & property taxes: $18,480
This includes about $5,100 in prepayments.)

Food: $2,522
Through careful buying, i was able to spend 6% LESS than i spent in 2007, despite rising food costs. I pulled back on buying organic, not completely, but just focusing my organic purchases on the most heavily sprayed produce, like soft berries, apples, pears, lettuce, and tomatoes.

Expanded brick patio: $2,170
I hope it was worth it. I like it, but that WAS a lot of $$$.

Healthcare (includes out of pocket and monthly premiums): $2,008
I spent 17% less than i did in 2007, despite my struggle last spring/summer with Lyme Disease.

2 trees cut down: $1,564

Fuel oil (and a cleaning): $1,443
This is a 34% increase from last year, not surprising at all...

Chimney liner: $1,225

IRS: $1,183
This is in addition to federal taxes taken from my paychecks. It's what i owed on freelance income.

Gas: $1,171
This is a 56% increase from last year, when i had no commute and prices were much cheaper.

Car upkeep: $1,095
This is about the same as i spent last year on a 9-year-old car. A lot of $, but still far cheaper than buying a new car.

Homeowners insurance: $856
(About the same as last year.)

Replacement window: $830

General house maintenance: $822
This is 80% less than last year, when i had the exterior painted.

Electric: $740
By conserving energy, i was able to spend 11% less than last year. I chalk it up to turning lights off when i'm leaving a room and not using the big oven much anymore AND line-drying my clothes all summer long.

Sewers: $718
This is a usage fee plus payment toward the sewer treatment plan that was constructed 10 years ago. I'll eventually not have to pay the big $600 annual fee.

State taxes: $698
This was what i owed from my freelance work. It hardly seems worthwhile when you see one-third of your freelance income paid back in state and federal taxes.

Clothing: $632
I was able to spend 14% less than last year.

Phone/Internet: $616
I'm not sure why, but i spent 14% less than last year! I did get a small discount on my monthly bill from AT&T.

Cat: $444

Dining out: $398
This represents about 15% more than last year. I'm a little surprised, but i think that this reflects rising prices for eating out, not an increase in my eating out.

Auto insurance: $378
About the same as last year. I dropped collision a while back and take a safe driver course every 3 years to get a discount.

Toiletries/vitamins: $332
This isn't really an expense per se, since most of this is money i spent on Walgreen's "free after rebate" deals, so i got my money back.

Gardening: $327
I spent 35% less than last year. I think last year i spent $ on expensive bird feeders as the squirrels always destroy them. I also didn't feed the birds over the summer as i have in the past.

Entertainment: $259
About the same as last year.

Gifts: $223
About the same as last year.

Cable TV: $193
Same.

Water: $189
A small overall expense, but it was still 22% more than last year, so i'll have to be more careful.

Borough taxes: $163

Jewelry: $163

Birds: $98

Car tax: $89

Dump sticker: $80

Subscriptions: $66

Vacation: $32
That $32 was just money spent on gas to get down to see my dad on the Jersey shore. He and K. wouldn't let me pay for any of my meals, and i was good and didn't buy anything.

Books/music: $18
I'm spending so little in this category i'll probably just eliminate it as a standalone category.

Total spent: $44,141

If you're not tracking your expenses, hopefully you'll see just a little of the interesting analysis you can do once you track every expense. I can see how i'm doing in absolute terms, but also in comparison to how i spent in the previous year, and where i'm spending more or less. I also created a little pie chart of my top 10 expenses using Word, but i can't show it here.

If you're curious about my income, i don't mind sharing that. Here's a breakdown:

Full-time job, NET pay: $42,552

Freelance work: $1,868
(Hadn't planned on freelance at all this year, but ended up doing some anyway.)

"Other:" $1,478
This includes a variety of things, including online surveys, cat-sitting and Walgreen's rebate checks.

Flex spending acct: $1,100
I include this as income since it's deducted from my pay and i use it to pay for out of pocket expenses.

IRS stimulus check: $600

Total net income: $47,598
Minus total expenses: $44,141
2008 saved: $3,457.
Not bad to eke out a few thousand in extra savings, on top of steady mortgage prepayments, fully funding my IRA and fully funding my 401(k).

It was fairly warm today, and i wanted to squeeze in a walk before the big meal, so i made a point to get out for a walk on a quiet street that goes by a local dairy farm. It's not that long, about 35 minutes in all.

Once back home, i decided last minute to make some cookies. (I was very short on time all this week as i was working.) So i made some oatmeal lemon cookies dusted with powdered sugar which came out very well.

I packed up all the gifts in the car as well as the cookies and headed over to mom's, where, with my sister, we had a nice lamb dinner.

For presents i got most of what i asked for, including a large, clear glass cloche, some long johns and a headband to keep me warm on my walks, one of my mother's framed creations (flowers), to match one i already have, and some homemade lip gloss, pepper jam and peach jam from my sister.

I'm a little distracted by two things. Two days before Xmas i noticed a rather large, hard lump on my cat's chin. I think i would have noticed it before. My fear is that it's cancer. She's 13. I don't think it's dental-related, like an infected tooth, becus she's eating and doesn't appear to be in any discomfort, plus it's not really under her jawline, it's more in the center of her chin. I will have to call around tomorrow and see if any vets offices are open tomorrow, Saturday or possibly have to wait til Monday. I didn't call the vet immediately when i noticed the lump, i guess becus i wasn't sure of what i was feeling, and last summer i had sort of jumped the gun when i "thought" my cat was drinking more than usual, indicating possible diabetees or kidney disease. So i put her thru the trauma of a car ride and vet visit but the blood test came back normal, thank god.

The other thing was i thought i was being smart and saving myself some money by delaying reordering some birth control pills which i take for other than birth control purposes. (Since I have not had children, I am at higher than averager risk of ovarian cancer, and taking BC pills greatly lowers that risk.)

I thought i had one more month's supply and was going to wait til Jan. 1 to order the next 3-month supply so i could use my 2009 flex spending reimbursement plan.

Tomorrow i should be starting another pill pak. Just now i discovered that i DONT have another month's supply in the house as i thought, and i learned after calling my doctor's office that no, they won't be open til Monday, and no, the doctor on call will not return calls related to birth control renewals! I don't know why! Isn't it going to screw up my body to have a 4 day gap between the end of one pill pak and the next? Geez. Doctors' offices seem to go out of their way to be unhelpful and unavailable.

I usually order prescriptions online thru Medco, which saves you money, but doing so now, it would take longer to get them thru the mail, so i'll just call the doc's office Monday and get them to phone in a 30-day supply prescription to my local Walgreens. I don't know what their prices are like, but i have a coupon whereby i can get a $25 gift card if i start a new prescription with them.

I got my annual phone call from the ex-boyfriend of 25 years ago i have no interest in talking to. Yep, he called twice this a.m. Luckily i was out for my walk so i didn't have to deal with him. He gives me the creeps. (Sorry for my lack of Xmas spirit.)

Unless a vet is avaiilable to see my cat tomorrow, i'll be going to see that Brad Pitt movie with my mom tomorrow. It's gotten good ratings.

I've also been in touch with a few old friends, one of whom i may see this weekend. It's nice to catch up with old friends. I have one girlfriend, B., who lives 8 hours away in northwestern PA. I'd love to see her this year sometime, but with her pets, i don't know if she'd be up for it. I suggested meeting at some destination in between us and just spend a few days together.

It has a lot more features than my old one, so i just taught myself the basics today and tried it out...


I don't think she appreciated being woken up for this shot!


The view from my front door. You can't see it, but there's an old wooden step ladder to the right of the large (burning) bush, which i'd been using to do some much needed pruning just a week ago. I never got around to putting the ladder back in the garage, and now it's a picturesque part of the landscape. It'll be there til spring!

Last Halloween, in addition to our office costume party, they also had a tarot card reader doing personal readings for employees, which i thought was a real cool thing. I was one of the last to visit with her. I looked at the sign-in sheet and was amused/curious to see that not only had the prez of our company been to see her, but he'd signed up for a double session.

Anyway, i didn't put too much stock in what she said. It was mostly general stuff that could've applied to anyone, although she did ask me if i was an actor. An odd question, i thought. She said becus you're going to be famous. I kind of rolled my eyes and said, no, i just work as a writer here. And that's when she said "Aha! That's how you're going to be famous! Have you written any books yet?"

It was amusing, but she gave me a little thingamajig envelope and told me to keep it on my bedroom dresser. I was supposed to write down 3 things i wanted and put them in the envelope, to "percolate," i guess.

So anyway, i've started doing guest blogs on other personal finance sites, in addition to stories on our own website. As our PR and traffic people get serious about driving traffic to our site, which just launched, more of my stories are being picked up by news aggregator sites, you know, like Ezine.

So my mother informed me the other day that she did a Google search of my name and came up with something like 17,000 references, which is really quite startling, a little alarming and amazing at the same time.

So maybe the tarot card reader was right. I AM famous, in a way.

I use my real name, photo and a little bio that goes along with my stories, so that's why i've been reluctant to provide lots of links here (altho it has slipped out on a few occasions) becus then my anonymity here would be totally quashed.

Like Disneysteve, i've been blogging here for a few years now (actually longer than what it states in my profile, cus i restarted my blog after a family member discovered it) and at times, eg, even looking at my profile, i reveal a lot. That's the beauty of a blog. You can put yourself out there. But i'm only willing to do so if i can remain annonymous, hence my psuedonym "Fern."

At one point, i'd made a blog post at my company site about a personal experience involving my hometown politics and one of our traffic people urged me to include the name of my town (and state), just to make it more credible and 1st person. I said no to that, since geez, people already have my full name. Once they get my hometown they could easily find my home phone number. So i have to set limits for basic privacy reasons. You never know who's reading this stuff.

Yesterday i got 2 real good buys at Kohl's. I got a very nice $50 large brown leather handbag, tote style, for $13 and a soft leather lavendar clutch type wallet with tons of credit card slots for $11, marked down from $30.

On the same trip i got my $10 Macy's discount after my purchase of a few weeks ago, filled up the gas tank, got cash at the bank, stopped at Expect to stock up on suet for the birds and hit Shop-Rite.

It's snowing again today so today's agenda is light:
1. make a roast chicken
2. do another pass at the driveway with snow blower
3. play with my new digital camera

We got about 6 inches of snow yesterday. It's my second season with my small snow blower, which works QUITE WELL. I use a 100 foot long electric extension cord with it cus i have a long driveway, and it doesn't quite reach the last 15 feet of the driveway near the road, so unfortunately, i still work up a sweat shoveling the worst part of it, where the plow packs the snow in good. I'm on a curve, so i seem to get even more snow cus the road is wider there.

Still, i saved myself a lot of time and sweat. I took it out last night, and then found a need to use it again this a.m. as it had kept snowing.

Filled the bird feeders, too.

I really should get out early but as usual, i'm reluctant to leave the comfort of home for messy roads.

I bought 2 bras at Macy's a few weeks ago and had a $10 off coupon the cashier had said was no good, but was. I have to schlep down there if i want the $10. Also want to hit Trader Joe's and maybe Shop Rite. All this needs to be done today cus tomorrow is another storm.

Was fortunate to stay home from work yesterday. They'd been forecasting a major storm of up to a foot, starting "late a.m." So i figured, why drive in to work, only to stay a few hours and then guarantee myself a shitty drive home? It's 45 minutes with clear roads. As a writer, i can work perfectly well at home. So i called my manager and asked him, given the forecast, if i could work at home. No snow was falling then, at 7 am, but again, they said "late a.m." He hesitated, but then said ok. I felt a little guilty.

Later in the a.m., i sent him an email apologizing for staying home becus it was about 11 am and still NO SNOW. He wrote back saying no problem, "you'll be glad you stayed home." Shortly after that, it really started coming down hard and continued into evening. I believe they closed my office up anyway at around 2 pm and i heard there were lots of accidents.

So it really irked me that after having responded "no problem" to my followup email, my manager sent another email saying that i would be expected to show up for work in the future when no snow was coming down. Fine, fine, i know no snow was falling, but it was 100% certain it was coming, so why lock myself into a shitty ride home? I felt like he was just pulling rank on me. He, of course, lives a few miles away from the office.

I hate driving in snow and have had many close calls, especially when i had my ultra-long 1.25 hr commute about 10 years ago. I refuse to put my safety or my car at risk in bad weather, especially when it's quite easy to avoid and doesn't affect my ability to work.

Duet to the sensitivity of this blog, it will self-destruct in 24 hours.

Had a nice chat with dad today. My younger half-brother is getting married to his live-in girlfriend next September, so i've cleared my calendar for that month and will make a point to reserve a few vcacation days for the big day. I'm guessing it will be near where they live in new jersey. Maybe i'll make plans with my dad and K. to extend the trip a little and do something else while i'm down there, instead of just driving all that way home again next morning.

I've been missing my dad, i really just see him a few times a year. I am very conscious of the fact that he's getting older and i want to spend more time with him. I told him i wanted to come down in the spring for my next visit.

I had my performance review. Although I've always gotten good feedback, i have to say this was probably the best review i've ever gotten like, in my entire career. My boss said and put in writing many extremely complmentary things with many superlatives, so i'm pleased with that and also very grateful. "Superb writer" and "work ethic beyond reproach" come to mind. (smile)

I won't find out about a raise and/or bonus for another month or so, but i'm fairly sure i'll get my full bonus (10% of salary), as my company has done very well this year. Next year will likely be different. I made a very strong case for a salary adjustment and had done my research to support that, so we'll see what happens.

Am making plans to spend some quality time with mom over the holidays as well, as i have a fair amount of time off in the next 2 weeks and my friend H. will be visiting family in Florida. Mom wants to do a gallery, of course, which sort of holds no interest for me. There's always a movie. Maybe some museum, i'll have to investigate this more.

I am very pleased to say that a story i wrote on credit cards was published on the website of US News & World Report. My mom immediately circulated the link to about a dozen of her friends. That's nice.

All but two of my presents are wrapped. Shopping is done.

Fortunate to be working at home today with a bit of bad weather this a.m. On my "lunch hour," i cut about probably 10 lbs. of sweet potatoes leftover from a box i got at Costco. I love to make sweet potato wedges with a little olive oil, salt and herb seasonings and roasted like french fry wedges. Really good. I ate too many. That was my entire lunch.

Got another "customer" in a mousetrap in basement.

My red-neck neighbors were using a chain saw last night in their driveway around 10:30 at night. It sounded like they were chopping up a car cus i kept hearing loud metal thuds. What in the world. They drive me nuts.

I seem to be doing okay with the sleeping pill one night, then skipping the next night's pill routine. I can't say i necessarily feel i get a better night's sleep when i do take the pill, but what it does seem to do is help me get back to sleep a little easier when i wake up in the middle of the night.

Yesterday i had a leisurely morning. Touched base with my sister, who didn't seem interested in sharing her thoughts on what we might get her for Xmas, so i lost valuable time and found myself, 2 weeks before Xmas, having no idea what to do, so i had to call and ask. As usual, she gave me some hard-to-find items, like a pair of women's deerskin workgloves, lined. I finally found a pair i thought she'd like at Woman's Work.com, but with shipping, they were NOT cheap....$39.50.

I delayed my usual a.m. run of errands until mid-afternoon so that i could hit the dump at 2:45 pm, just 15 minutes before closing. You avoid some long lines that way. I dropped off the garbage, including about 4 dead mice, and then headed to Costco, where i seem to be doing an awful lot of spending, ever since i got my membership. It was a madhouse there, and i have little patience for crowds, so i tried to get in and get out. I did get some good buys on catfood and organic tomato paste and sauce. Tomatoes are heavily sprayed with pesticides, so if they're not homegrown, then i will buy only organic.

I wanted to use up the rest of my dethawed homegrown tomatoes, left over from last week, so i made yet another tomato-based soup with corn, barley, and broccoli and onion, just what i had on hand. Then i cooked a handful of shrimp up separately and threw that in my bowl cus it cooks up fast. It was pretty good.

This a.m. i did 2 loads of laundry and vacuumed both floors. Also changed the bedsheets. Then, becus it was so warm out (@35 degrees) i went outside armed with big clippers to hack away at my burning bush, which i'd been waiting all fall to do. It's just getting too darn big. It's a mammoth thing about 30 feet wide and maybe 20 feet tall, I'm concerned that it's starving the 4 very nice little evergreens behind it of sunlight. The 4 evergreens were planted by the previous owners before i bought this house, and they stayed very little for many years, but they have finally become substantial in height if not in width. I would like to look at them from the house, too, but their view is obscured by the burning bush. So i was out there for at least 2 hours, using my wood ladder and still not being able to reach the very top of it. There's much more trimming to do. I went back to the house to see what it looked like and you can't even tell i pruned anything! I would have liked to continue working on it cus it was so mild and it's decent exercise, but H. was coming over at 2:30 pm.

We went to a craft show in town. I bought 2 nice pins, 1 for my mother 1 for my sister. One was $15 and the other $21 i think. They were a little different than what you usually see, and both were plants.



The very nice Chinese man kept chatting away to me about the pins but i couldn't understand a word he said. I just smiled and nodded my head, laughing when it seemed appropriate.

I think the other crafters, many of them with their own jewelry lines, were jealous i bought from him. I checked out every booth very carefully before settling on his and studying his wares for a good 15 minutes. The prices at all the booths were pretty reasonable but even then, i think people just aren't spending as much. I was tempted to buy a pendant for myself from a woman who specialized in making little handblown glass pendants with beautiful colors and designs, but i luckily chose to keep my $20. I was very tempted, too.

At one booth, they had some kind of demonstration window set up and a young woman tried to engage me in conversation and i tried not to come any closer to avoid getting locked in talk when i had no interest in doing so. But i didn't want to be rude, so when she asked if i'd had old windows in my house, i lied and said i'd just had them done this year. (Well, I did have 1 done.) All of them, she asked. Yup, i said, and kept moving.
I really don't like being accosted at these shows. Even when i went to the mall last weekend, the vendors in the middle of the mall aisle were pretty aggressive. It was difficult to walk by without being asked some question you had to answer.

Went over H.'s for tea afterwards and we had a good long chat. She's leaving to visit her grandaughter and see her newest great grandson for the 1st time for Christmas and she asked me to water her houseplants, so we went over all those details.

She told me she's not making ends meet with her Social Security and working just the 1 half-day a week, so she's scouting around again for something more. She's been doing the books for a local nurseryman, and since he's had some cash flow problems and doesn't have much work this time of year, they bartered. Instead of paying her for doing the bookkeeping, he did some much needed drainage work and redid a broken up bluestone walkway to her front door and also trimmed some tree branches hanging over her roof. Stuff she had wanted to get done for what seems like forever, but couldn't afford it.

I've enjoyed reading everyone's 2009 goals. I think, given this economy that ALL of us should seriously concentrate on 2 things, in addiiton to whatever else you may have on your plate: 1. pay down debt, especially high interest credit card debt and 2. build an emergency savings fund, if you don't already have one.

Unemployment is expected to rise next year to 8% or more. That's pretty high, and while i really don't believe that my job, personally, is in danger, stranger things have happened and i have, after all, lost my job a total of 5 times in my working life of over 25 years, and of course I didn't anticipate the job loss ANY of those times. Well, maybe i had an inkling, i did, but it's always a shock when it actually happens.

This is always a great time of year, and i'm really not talking about the holidays, i'm talking about all the time off i'll have! In the last 2 weeks of December, i'll be off 6 days, working 4. Cool!

I don't usually read the blogs during the week, so it's possible sevenofseven, nomorecredit and/or swimgirl turned on the heat while i wasn't looking, but here, according to my best record-keeping records, are the remaining 3 finalists who still have not turned on the heat:

1. sevenofseven - Northern California
2. nomorecredit- NY
3. swimgirl - Northern California

This officially ends my record-keeping duties!

Those who already turned on the heat:
scfr - Texas - Dec. 12
Ima Saver - Georgia - Dec. 6
debtfreeme - Northern California - Nov 29
monkeymama - N. California – Nov. 23
canoineag – Denver – Nov. 9
Joan.of.the.Arch – MO – Nov. 9
Analise - northern California - Nov. 9
Little gopher - Minnesota - Nov. 7
princessperky - Charlotte, NC - Oct. 30
Koppur - Massachusetts - Oct. 29
snoopycool - Florida - Oct. 28
toyguy1963 - Ohio - Oct. 27
Boomeyer - Missouri - Oct. 26
Househopeful - Delaware Oct. 23
Buckeye - Ohio - Oct. 22
dmontngrey - Massachusetts Oct. 22
Fern - Oct. 19 Connecticut
mbkonef - SE Pennyslvania - Oct 17
Creditcardfree - Oct. 15
Nancy - Oct. ??
MilehighGirl - Oct. 11
wyozozo - Wyoming - Oct. 10
Mech - Oct. 3 Massachusetts
ME2 - Oct. 3
myenglishcastle - Wisconsin - October 1
homebody - October 1

I've seen other people posting their 2009 goals. I thought about mine, the financial ones, that is, and they pretty much will be what my 2008 financial goals were:
1. continue paying down my mortgage rapidly.
2. continue building my emergency fund.

I keep my financial goals posted on this blog so they're in front of me at all times. I will also continue contributing the max to my 401k, but that's a given, so i haven't bothered to include that. I'd also like to throw more $ into investments since prices are so low, but building the emergency fund in case of layoff is the priority right now.

I am expecting a bonus this year, so i'm hoping to use a good portion of that and throw it in my mid cap growth fund, which is very underfunded since as a taxable fund, i rarely have leftover cash to contribute to it, unlike my other stock funds, which are all retirement accounts.

My performance review is coming up very soon and i am getting very antsy about it. Ie, uptight. I know i've done a good job, and they do, too, but the big question is, what kind of salary increase will i get? The company's doing well but the shaky ecnonomy is the monkeywrench.

I'll tell you now at the get-go that this blog reallly doesn't have much to do with money, at least in a direct way. But then, most of my blogs don't.

Depending on your political leanings, you may feel that government should play a larger, or smaller, role in our lives, in terms of establishing policy, implementing safeguards and standards and so on. As a left-leaning Independent, I've always felt that government is needed to protect Americans from those who would ignore the public good and profit from us any way they can. We cannot trust big business to "do the right thing." There are exceptions (Ben & Jerry's, Patagonia and Microsoft being a few), but they're the exception, not the rule.

I'm most keenly aware that government has failed us during the past 8 years of the Bush administration, and in these challenging times, it's individual efforts that, collectively, are creating a groundswell of change.

This thought crystalized in my head when i ran to the supermarket to pick up a few items this morning. As i usually do, i grabbed a canvas tote bag from the back seat as i headed into the store. At the checkout, i put my tote bag in front of the bagger as i returned the cashier's greeting and dug out my wallet. When i was done paying, i saw that the bagger, evidently on auto-pilot, put my purchases in a plastic bag, which lay waiting for me next to the empty tote bag. He had already walked off to another cashier's station, so I repackaged everything and left them their plastic bag.

I realized that if we have any hope of changing current mindsets, it'll be up to individuals like us who fight what often seems like a futile battle against the status quo.

I've been using my own bags at the supermarket and other stores for some time. I refuse to use one-time use bags that become permanent, unrecyclable garbage as soon as they arrive in your home. Long after you and I are gone, those bags will continue to plague the planet.

But in the past year, I've sensed a genuine change as people reexamine rote attitudes they've followed for years without question.

Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth may have marked the turning point. People are actually thinking about what they're doing. When you multiply our individual consumption habits by 305,000,000 (the US population) they quickly assume great signficance. Suddenly, being lazy and using a paper cup to get water from the cooler at work when you have your own mug back at your desk becomes problematic.

Supermarkets are a big business, and it's not just plastic bags that have them putting their blinders on. Major supermarket chains like Stop N Shop and Big Y lobbied hard to defeat an expanded bottle bill here in CT that would have permitted the recycling of juice containers and the ubiquitous water bottles. The supermarkets didn't want the added expense of expanding their recycling facilities, yet they still want to profit by selling those products to us.

And now we have a very timely example of how big business' inflexibility and vested interest in reinforcing "the status quo" (because it is profitable) has profoundly hurt America and its people.

Think about the Big 3 automakers. We had a gas crisis back in the 1970s that was worse than what we had last summer. Long lines of cars formed at the gas stations, and some stations ran out, fueling a growing panic. Did automakers start making smaller, more fuel-efficient cars then? No, instead they went in the opposite direction, introducing bigger pick-ups, SUVs and even the outrageous Hummer.

American automakers had their chance more than 30 YEARS AGO to respond to current economic conditions, but they put profit in front of practicality.

It wasn't just American carmakers that dropped the ball. Even Honda Motor Co. failed to remain true to its fuel-efficient roots. Over the years, i saw how the Accord got bigger, so i switched to the Civic. Then the Civic grew in size, too.

And get this. My 1999 Honda Civic is EPA rated 29 city/35 highway. What's the best mileage you can get today, 9 years later, with a conventional, non-hybrid engine? 35 miles per gallon.

I feel for employees who could lose their jobs at the auto plants, but i feel even more strongly that poorly managed companies that don't understand their market deserve to fail and that more innovative start-up companies that are experimenting with cutting edge technologies should take their place.

It's frustrating to see how slowly the pace of change occurs. Many individuals have already made radical changes in their own behavior. Granted, many did so only because they had to, because higher prices dictated it. But our government and private industry seem to come along at a snail's pace, refusing to change until they absolutely have to, because making changes is, as Al Gore said, inconvenient, requires a wake-up call and entails added expense.

The time has come. Yes, we can.

Here's where i went today.... I did a little damage but tried to be careful.

I stopped by the Catholic Church and turned out i was 30 minutes too early for their holiday bazaar, so i turned around and left.

Headed to check out the huge Good Will store they newly built a year or so ago. I'm not sure how i feel about buying used clothing, but i ended up buying 3 tops for $15, which you really can't beat. Our office attire is very casual, so the stuff i got will work fine. I was tempted to ask the cashier if they routinely wash the clothing they receive, but i didn't. Interestingly, they had the clothing organized by color, not size. Still, I'm not sure i will return anytime soon.

Next, I went to one of my favorite home and garden stores that always has gorgeous holiday stuff, whatever the holiday! I bought a 2 foot high artificial tree (yes, i guess that makes the 4th one i have) becus it was really attractive and i wanted something small, PLUS all their trees were 30% off and i had coveted this same tree last year, and maybe the year before but didn't want to spend the $30 on it. So i got it today for $21.

Here it is.



I also got 2 nice jute tote bags, one for my mother and one for my sister.


(We're all very green.)

They can be hard to buy for: they don't like anything "commercial-looking." It has to all natural, organic, quality, you get the idea...

After that, i went to Macy's, armed with a bunch of coupons. I was looking for nice ornaments for the tree i just bought but i didn't see anything i liked.

I did remember i could use some new bras, so i ended up getting 2 for myself but becus the purchase was under $50 ($32) I couldn't use the coupons and ended up feeling "jipped." Oh well.

So then i wondered up and down the mall several times stepping into various stores, but again, didn't really see anything i really liked. I haven't been in the mall for several years, and now i remember why. It was fairly crowded, but not crazy like previous years.

I did admire some nice stuff at Williams Sonoma and Pottery barn, but didn't buy anything. Then i went to Pier One where i continued to admire stuff, but again, declined to buy.

Considered going to Trader Joe's but decided i was too tired. Headed back toward home, but not before stopping back in at the Catholic Church bazaar, but didn't buy anything there.

Then stopped at my town's very nice gift shop which is known for their great Xmas decorations. They are also very pricey, but i wanted to look. I was quite surprised to find 2 canisters of nice small sized tree ornaments, each one for $1.99. Amazing in such an overpriced store. They're on the tree in the picture above.

After that, i decided to treat myself to my first lunch out in over a month. Got chicken and broccoli at the Chinese place and brought it home to eat.

I guess i spent under $100 but it felt like a lot.

I still need to buy more stuff for my sister but i have no idea what becus i hardly ever see her and she hasn't invited us to her home in about 5 years now. So i'm on my own. Becus she works outside on an estate, i got her some wool fingerless gloves and that jute tote back i mentioned. If you have any ideas, let me know. She raises chickens and ducks and has been a huge gardener (vegetables) for years. It would be difficult to get her gardening stuff cus chances are, she has it. She has also in the past made her own (organic) natural cosmetics and lotions. She is very particular about what she wears. She's a very good cook, nothing out of a box or packaged, naturally.



That pretty much was my day.

Well, it wouldn't really be a "contest" per se, but maybe just a sharing of our holidays.

I gave up the big tree years ago. It's just too much work and since it's only me, it's just more effort than it's worth to drag an artificial tree down from the attic, etc. I don't like to kill a living tree just for a few weeks of entertainment.

So.....i have an assortment of tabletop trees which do just fine. In fact, i have so many decorations that every room in my house, including the bathrooms, have some sort of holiday decoration in them.

Here's a few...


This is my "fireplace mantle." Since i don't actually have a fireplace in this house, i use the top of a similarly sizedold cabinet i got from my grandmother. I most enjoy a natural scene with critters, plus i like the little bundled up kiddies.


This is my kitchen table. Just a bunch of vintage ornaments, circa 1960s, and some holiday candles. Oops, in the background, to the left of the TV, you can see my gallon-sized mustard that i got at Costco. No, i don't have a thing about mustard, but i did need some, and of course, it's huge. It'll last me years, i reckon, though i do tend to use mustard on sandwiches rather than mayo and i even like potato salad German-style, sans mayo.


I bored those of you who were around here last year with a similar photo, since it's fun to hang ornaments from my dining room chandeleir. These are more vintage ornaments.

I have another tabletop tree which contains 13 pewter ornaments, representing the 13 years i've lived in town. The library sells a new ornament each year as a fundraiser and each features a historic building in town with the town name and year, so i sort of enjoy collecting each year.

I have another mini tree with mini lights and all animal ornaments including squirrels, owls, foxes and other critters.

And actually, i still have a lot of stuff i haven't put out. Not sure if i will or if this is enough!

Now it's your turn!

In other news, today was a mostly blissful work at home day.

I must admit your comments on my plan to quit the sleeping pills were a little scary. But i do plan to take Mrs. Pearl's advice of 1 pill every other night. Compared to the Monday thru Friday regimen I'm on now, I'll be cutting back the pills from 5 weekly to 3 weekly.

To answer your questions, yes, i have tried melatonin but have read that it's only effective if you suffer from a melatonin deficiency. Since I detected no improvement when taking it, i can only assume i don't have a melatonin deficiency. I have also tried chamoille tea, but i think my problem is a lot more stubborn than that. I have noticed that Benadryl, which is an antihistamine, also puts me to sleep well but i'm not sure taking that nightly would be any better than sleeping pills.

By the way, i may have misspoken when i referred to the sleeping pill habit as an addiction. From what i've read, they are not narcotic but they do carry the risk of dependency. I don't know what the difference is...sounds like the same thing to me.

OK, so anyway, Sunday night i planned to try going without a pill after 4 consecutive nights of no pills over the holiday weekend. I did ok then, but i also had time to sleep a little later if i needed to in the a.m. whereas on a workday night, i don't. Maybe becus i started thinking about work, i had great difficulty falling asleep. I tossed and turned. I thought about all the men in my life. I thought about my father and i partly wrote this blog post in my head. I finally decided that i would get up and go to the bathroom and turn on the light to see what time it was. If it was before midnight, I'd take a sleeping pill. If it was after midnight, I wouldn't, becus i wouldn't have the 8 hours to sleep it off.

As i reached for the light, i knocked over the bottle of sleeping pills and they all tumbled into the sink. Swearing to myself, i turned on the light and picked them all up, one by one, and carefully returned them to the bottle, feeling like an addict who won't give up her fix.

I looked at the clock. It was 1:40 am. I popped a pill, desperate to sleep.

And then, of course, i had a hard time getting up in the a.m.

Monday night i went without the pill, figuring i'd be so tired from the night before that i'd just collapse. I was indeed very sleepy by 8 pm, but i forced myself to stay awake til 9:45 pm to stay on a more or less normal sleep schedule. I slept just ok.

Last night would've been my night to take a pill, but since i knew i'd be working at home today, i decided to go without it becus i knew i could sleep a little later. I usually go to bed at 10 pm (maybe that's part of the problem, it's too early?) but i really wasn't sleepy so again, becus i knew i could sleep in a bit, i stayed up til about 10:20 pm when i did get tired. I think i slept ok and i woke up probably close to my normal time of 6:20 am.

No, i'm not talking about a shopping addiction. God knows i still have to battle those shopping impulse demons now and then, but that's not what i'm talking about here.

No, I'm talking about another addiction...to sleeping pills. I actually decided to go cold turkey in part becus trying to time my prescription and figuring out the cheapest place to get them was starting to annoy me.

It all started about 3 years ago, when i was dating T. We were in a routine of him coming up here for the weekend or my going down there, but either way, I found it difficult to fall asleep with someone snoring next to me. I've always been a light sleeper. So one night, at his place, he took a prescription sleeping pill becus he hadn't slept well the night before or something, and i asked him if i couuld try one too. I was very happy with how quickly it made me sleepy.

I soon grew quite fond of those sleeping pills, so I asked my PCP for a prescription. I started out taking them only occasionally, but it didn't take long for me to become both psychologically and physically dependent on that little pill for a good night's sleep. The doctor was particularly sympathetic and said he himself took a sleeping pill every night. Just a reflection of the stressful lives we lead, he said.

I don't like sleeping pills, or medications in general. For one, it's an added cost. While the pill i like is a generic and not expensive, i also have to factor in the doctor's visits to get the prescription. My mail order prescription service advises you to ask your doc for a 90-day supply with 3 refills so that you're covered for a full year, but my PCP won't do that, for liability reasons, he said, and will only write a prescription good for a 6 month supply, requiring me to come see him (another $25 office visit co-pay) to get another prescription.

I've tried in the past to wean myself off these things, but when i skipped the pill, i felt i slept so poorly that it really interefered with the following day's activities and i just felt tired and sluggish. I'd toss and turn all night. It just didn't seem worth it.

But these pills can become addictive, and that's another reason i don't like them. So to try to avoid that, i don't usually take them on weekends; i figure if i sleep poorly the night before, i can always take a daytime nap.

So anyway, i realized my supply of pills was getting somewhat low. My doc thinks i take 20 mg when i really break them in half and just take 10 mg. I do this to save money. I'm afraid if i told him i was only taking 10 mg, he woud stop prescribing the 20 mg. And it appears that 20 mg is the highest dosage i could get, so i don't want to reach the maximum dose any sooner than i have to, especially as continued use of these pills can result in them becoming less effective over time.

So I realized i'd have to see the doc to get another prescription and to save $ i figured, instead of going to see him in December, why not schedule my annual physical in early January and kill 2 birds with one stone, so to speak. (I hate that expression, but you know what i mean.) Plus, I already used up my 2008 flex spending reimbursement allocation, so i can save money another way by delaying the visit til January.

I poured all the pills out of the bottle and counted them, seeing that i have enough to last til about Feb. 1 if i continue skipping weekends. I made the appt. for the phsyical for early January.

Then i was trying to figure out the cheapest place to get them. If i went thru Medco, it's just $24 for a 3 month supply, but i happen to have a coupon for a $25 gift card at Walgreens for any new prescriptions. I have to call my local store to see what they'd charge for it.

But then i was thinking, geez, with the long holiday weekend, you've already gone 4 days without sleeping pills. Maybe this would be a good time to just continue that route and see if you can get thru the week without feeling exhausted.

So that's what i'm gonna do. I still may get the prescription for more pills come January; i don't have to fill it immediately and even if i do, i could just have the pills on hand for, umm, special occasions or at least maybe i could cut back enough that i only need a single prescription to last the whole year. Kind of like having an insurance policy.
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In other news, i blew about $80 at Costco: pumpkin ravioli (mmmm) garlic and parmesan cheese ravioli (mmmm), a gallon of mustard (oh my), pomegranite juice (i'll live to be 100!), 4 pounds of ground turkey, 3.5 dozen eggs (umm, that's a lot of eggs for 1 person but they're good til January...omelet, anyone?) and some dark chocolate/almond cookies highly recommended by Mom.

Back home, i made a big pot of turkey chili which has already been separated into individual serving containers i can bring to work for lunch. I also made some Trader Joe's brownies, read Money magazine, did more Xmas decorating and watched the sleety snow and rain come down.

By the way, you guys say the nicest things in your comments here. It really makes my day that people actually read my ramblings and enjoy it. Thanks, guys.

People collect all sorts of things. Me? I collect mortar & pestles. Actually, i have just three of them, but i find myself attracted to them wherever i see them.

Here's the first one in my collection, and the most special:



My grandfather, a retired US Rubber factory foreman, spent countless hours devoted to his marquetry and woodworking. This is one of several pieces i have that he made. It's 2 kinds of wood in this piece, but i don't remember what they are. He also made beautiful lamps, salt and pepper shakers, goblets and other household items. He and my grandmother traveled up and down the east coast in their retirement days, selling his stuff at craft shows. He always sold out.

Here are the other two i acquired:


The smaller soapstone one (looks like marble) i got for less than $10 at a church bazaar a few years ago. The wood one i got at TJ Maxx, of all places. It's olive wood and i love the rugged beauty of the knotted wood.

Here's one of 4 or 5 lamps i have, made by Grandpa:

Many different kinds of wood were used in these lamps, creating a kind of mosaic effect. Many of the woods he ordered, from all over the world, are simply not available for purchase today.

Grandpa could always be found in 1 of 2 places: either in the basement, working on his woodwork, or parked on the living room couch. In an age before remote controls, he had 3 TVs set up with 2 on mute and 1 with sound. I guess he loved his TV. I remember watching the Smothers Brothers over there or the Macy's Tgiving Day parade, which, as a child, bored me to tears. But he grew up in Harlem, so I guess it had more meaning for him. He was a 3-pack-a-day man, and unfiltered Camels were his brand. And that's what eventually killed him, at age 77.

My memories of that house he built in Saddle Brook, NJ are so vivid. It's been many years now, but i can remember everything, down to what hung on the walls and the way our Dalmatian, Rufus, used to make my grandfather laugh as the dog raced around the house in circles. It was a sturdy, brick, 2-bedroom house with 1 bath (seems so outdated now, but it seemed plenty big when i was growing up. My favorite place was the large patio with those narrow louvered windows. My grandmother lined the shelves in front of the windows with artificial plants. Go figure. For some years, they enjoyed keeping parakeets and as a special treat they'd let the parakeets out of their cage and they'd swoop around the patio, thinking they were in some plastic jungle. They had a large rattan dining set where we'd often eat, and one of those glider style love-seat sized chairs. Funny, seeing either rattan dinette sets or gliders or even fake rubbery grapes makes me nostalgic.

On a more mundane note, i pretty much finished raking leaves in my yard. I decorated the house for Xmas.

Oh, and i did end up buying myself an early Xmas present, a Canon PowerShot digital camera. With 4x zoom and 8 megapixel, it's an upgrade from my current 2x zoom, 3.2 megapixel. And it cost about the same, $100, though this time i got it from Amazon, not Wal-Mart.

Just the 3 of us for Thanksgiving, since my parents have been split up for many years and neither my sister or i have kids. (My dad and brothers live out of state.) So when it's that few people, it doesn't take long to "catch up" on things, especiallly as i keep in pretty regular touch with my mother anyway.

So i showed up there around noon and we was back home around 4:30. I was already getting hungry again around 6:30, so i ate up all my leftovers!

Today, my friend is coming to pick me up after she gets out of work, around 2:30 pm. To do some shopping at various places. Shopping for her is a sport, entertainment and pasttime, while i limit my shopping only to essentials. Still, the holiday season is upon us and i wouldn't mind going out to "browse," although if the crowds are really bad, i'll likely poop out after just a few hours. I can't stand crowds, lines or cruising huge parking lots for a space.

Truth be told, these shopping trips sometimes grate on me just a wee bit. It's her turn to drive. Good for me, cus it saves me gas, but she drives a manual SUV and always shifts gears very roughly, so it's a bouncy ride. And becus she likes to "make a day of it," she always seems to take these long, out of the way routes to wherever we go, making every trip 3 times as long as it needs to be. I guess I'm complaining. Didn't plan to, but i'm now just remembering this stuff becus it's been a while since i went "shopping" with her.

I hope i don't reget telling her i'd go out with her today. I have just 1 gift to get at Bed Bath & Beyond, and i wouldn't mind stopping at Trader Joe's, but that's about it.

But i have the a.m. to myself. I'll be raking leaves in a little while. I'm really conscious of getting some exercise, in some form, every day, but i haven't had any exercise since Tuesday, so i NEED to rake those leaves.

I'll also be balancing my checkbook, doing my November monthly expenses and decorating the house for Xmas.

If you're tired of the same old canned cranberry sauce (eww), here's an easy recipe that is VERY good. It's a great taste, the combo of the chewy dried cranberries and the crisp red grapes is just great together. I've gotten lots of compliments on it and it's so easy to make. This makes A LOT of relish: 6 cups.

4 cups cranberry juice cocktail
3 cups dried cranberries
3 cups red seedless grapes, halved
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
1 teaspoon finely grated lemon peel

Boil the cranberry juice until it's reduced to 1 cup. Put the dried cranberries in a large bowl. Pour the hot, reduced liquid over it. Stir to coat. Let cool. Cover and refrigerate. Removed from fridge 1 hour before serving. Just before serving, stir in the grapes, lemon juice and lemon peel into the cranberry relish.

(You can make this a few days in advance if you like, and just cut up and add the red grapes before serving, otherwise, the grapes would be less than fresh.)

You won't be disappointed! I still remember when i brought this dish to my then-boyfriend's family's for Tgiving dinner. They had a big group, about 30. My ex's mom was sitting at another table set up in their living room, but i happened to be looking over at her as she put a forkful of my relish in her mouth, and i'll never forget the enjoyment i got from watching the expression on her face as she tasted it. I could tell she really liked it! Later, she asked me for the recipe.

Today was a relatively painless day at work. (Well, most days are.) I wrote a news story about how this holiday season will be very light for travel, by car and air, due to the economy. Also wrote a blog post on how the federal deficit could jeopardize America's AAA rating. I even had time to tidy up my Word file folders and create new ones for next year so i can more easily save and locate stories i write. I did the same for my email folders.

We got out at 2 pm and since it was still daylight, i was able to take the shorter, back roads route home and it was a pleasure, no traffic at all. Can't say i did much; i was feeling very tired again. I watched a few court shows on TV; Judge Judy and Judge Pirrone, the former state prosecutor in NY. Then i watched the local news, something i rarely get home in time to catch.

There's all this hub-bub about Black Friday deals. I don't actually have a need to go out on Friday, but i'm actually feeling like i should think of something i "need" just to take advantage of all these deals i'm hearing about.

I was toying with the idea of getting a new digital camera, tho again, i don't really need a new one. The one i had i spent about $100 on at Wal-Mart probably 5 years ago. It does the job. But i never got the memory card for it becus it cost $100 and i figured i might better spend that money on an upgrade someday, so i've worked around the 24 photo limit without the card. I just have to delete photos after transferring them to my computer. It wouldn't work if i was going on some awe-inspiring vacation where i wanted to take a lot of photos, but that hasn't happened lately, so no biggie. Maybe i'll check to see what www.consumersearch.com has to say.

So for tomorrow's meal i'm making my cranberry and grape relish and i was gonna bring the brussel sprouts, but they didn't have them at the store so i got string beans instead. Brussel sprouts are sort of a tradition in my family. My grandmother always used to make them becus she knew how much i loved them, and now my mother continues that tradition. (It's nice to feel spoiled every once in a while.)

I'm really looking to 4 days off from work. Not much planned. Maybe headed out shopping, or just looking, on Friday with friend H. Otherwise, have more leaves to rake and the weather will be decent for that, low 40s.

I never imagined i'd still be reporting so close to Thanksgiving on those stalwart souls who HAVENT TURNED ON THE HEAT.

I give you guys a lot of credit. I'm with you in spirit. Although my heat is regularly kicking on, it's set at 59 degrees. You get used to it, for the most part. I hope i can keep it this low all winter long. In past years, my indoor high temp was set at 60 or 62, so this is my own ongoing personal challenge.

Here are the remaining 6 finalists who still have not turned on the heat (as far as i know):

debtfreeme - Northern California
Ima Saver - Georgia
scfr - Texas
sevenofseven - Northern California
nomorecredit- NY
swimgirl - Northern California

Those who already turned on the heat:
monkeymama - N. California – Nov. 23
canoineag – Denver – Nov. 9
Joan.of.the.Arch – MO – Nov. 9
Analise - northern California - Nov. 9
Little gopher - Minnesota - Nov. 7
princessperky - Charlotte, NC - Oct. 30
Koppur - Massachusetts - Oct. 29
snoopycool - Florida - Oct. 28
toyguy1963 - Ohio - Oct. 27
Boomeyer - Missouri - Oct. 26
Househopeful - Delaware Oct. 23
Buckeye - Ohio - Oct. 22
dmontngrey - Massachusetts Oct. 22
Fern - Oct. 19 Connecticut
mbkonef - SE Pennyslvania - Oct 17
Creditcardfree - Oct. 15
Nancy - Oct. ??
MilehighGirl - Oct. 11
wyozozo - Wyoming - Oct. 10
Mech - Oct. 3 Massachusetts
ME2 - Oct. 3
myenglishcastle - Wisconsin - October 1
homebody - October 1

And here's my friend's delicious chicken Paprikosh recipe.

Ingredients:
Chicken - one whole chicken cut in pieces or any chicken parts you like.
Onions - figure 1 medium sized onion per serving, chopped as small as you can manage, but not mushed
Green pepper - I used one cubanelle, sliced fine - I estimate 1/2 pepper per serving
Celery - one stalk, sliced fine, per serving
You can also use mushrooms, or no veggies at all if you prefer
Garlic - 1 clove, crushed, for 4 servings
Salt & Pepper to taste
Sweet Paprika - 1 flat TABLEspoon per serving
Canola Oil or other light, unflavored oil, about a tablesp